Why You Should Identify Your Support Network
Your support network is made up of the people you know, trust, enjoy being around, and can reliably feel comfortable with, along with the activities you derive pleasure from. Listing these things can be a powerful and useful experience. Upon beginning, you will likely think that this exercise should be straightforward and somewhat tedious. However, it will force you to think deeply and critically about the things you enjoy. This may not include the people you might think you SHOULD include, or the “hobbies'' that you talk about during business dinners. But by paying close attention to your experience, you will notice that the simple act of reflecting on these things, brings about a sense of safety, connection, and gratitude. Such an exercise can be especially valuable when struggling to overcome stress, trauma, or generally in regulating your emotions.
While creating your list of activities, you will likely be struck with profound contentment brought about simply by thinking about the things and people you enjoy the most. It may also reveal things to you about yourself! Perhaps you have fewer truly close friends than you previously realized, or perhaps you feel closer with your friends than you do with your family. Maybe you will realize that you simply do not have enough enjoyable activities in your life or that you have been slowly drifting away from or ignoring them. This could serve as a wakeup call to reinvigorate an old friendship, or reorganize your schedule to become more active. For me, it was realizing the amount of time I spend in front of this computer screen and how little time I spend in nature - something that brings me a deep sense of peace and happiness. Organize your list into two categories by listing the people from closest to somewhat close, and the things from most enjoyable to somewhat enjoyable. While doing so, also make note of the activities that could be completed in less than 5 minutes, 10 minutes, or more. These will help you later when you make a concerted effort to build them into your schedule. Driving to the store and enjoy comedy? Thrown on a podcast by your favorite comedian. Have a few moments before your next work call? Call/text a friend just to say hi! These small tasks can be done without disrupting your overall productivity and serve as a way to improve the overall quality of any given day.
Creating your support network will hopefully be a heartwarming experience as you reflect on your social circle. According to Dunbar’s number, individuals can only maintain a certain amount of close relationships within their inner circle, with the numbers increasing as the circles grow broader and the relationships grow weaker. If it helps, you can imagine concentric circles with the core being the closet relationships you have, and each ring outward representing different levels of intimacy.
Too often, we give little-to-no thought to the people and things that we care about most. Work, kids, responsibilities - the list of things that demand our attention are endless. This can relegate us to watching TV or zoning out on our phones at the end of a long day due to sheer exhaustion. However, by building the people and activities that you care about most consciously into your schedule, it will subconsciously improve the overall quality of your day. This will in turn provide you with more energy and more interest in life. Your days will become better and better as you pepper in the things you enjoy. Try it out and let us know what you think!
