Why Everyone Should Create a Lifetime Experiential
The memories we carry with us play a role in who we are as human beings. They have the ability to influence our behavior and the ways in which we see the world. Memories are also malleable, and can be distorted by a variety of factors, including time. By utilizing purposeful reminiscence, individuals can change their perceptions of the past and influence their future perspective in a positive way. In fact, multiple therapeutic uses have been identified in harnessing the power of memories. One way to do so is through a life timeline experiential - mapping out the core positive and negative experiences of one’s life, from birth to the present day with positive experiences above the line and negative experiences below. Creating my own life timeline evoked a panoply of emotions, but it was ultimately positive and uplifting. Based on my experience I recognized several benefits and takeaways from this experience, including the ability to re-contextualize negative memories in a more positive frame. Insights such as these have a clear application in the therapeutic setting, and I believe they can foster positive growth in a variety of populations and on a number of issues.
My Experience with the Process
Creating a personal life timeline was both enjoyable and insightful. Before I began, I had a sense that undertaking this project would be emotional and, for some inexplicable reason, would make me feel more secure in who I am. These feelings were similar to the ones I have felt prior to beginning therapy with a new counselor. Both experiences were also accompanied by slight anxiety brought on by the knowledge that I would have to honestly confront myself and revisit negative memories. Those same feelings were also present when writing this blog post. There was also a prevalent sense of nostalgia. Part of me wished I could repeat some of my experiences, understanding how they have impacted me years later. I also felt an unmistakable sense of connection to my nuclear family and my broader family history, prompting the desire to investigate my past and perhaps create some version of a family tree.
Most of the memories that I listed on my life timeline have been cultivated and drawn upon frequently throughout my life. However, I was surprised by the resurfacing of multiple memories that, in some cases, I had not revisited for over 20 years. Some memories seemed so random that I failed to recognize any significant meaning or reason as to why they would be preserved. Others, however, shocked me due to the strong reactions that they elicited. This made it difficult for me to sort out which memories I should ultimately include in my timeline and which I should leave off.
While determining which memories to write down, I felt unmistakable gratitude for having had the chance to experience all that I have. One recurring thought that came up was how privileged I have been throughout my life. This project also made me aware of the disproportionate weight I was assigned to the negative moments in my life. I realized that some unexamined negative memories were powerful enough that they were negatively tinting the macro memory of my entire childhood. However, consciously revisiting these experiences and putting them into perspective helped me understand that my life has been overwhelmingly positive. I also noticed that I was not regretful when revisiting many of my negative experiences. In fact, I found myself questioning whether several negative memories belonged in the negative category, as I have grown to perceive them as irreplaceably valuable. When reflecting on the degree of resolve and strength I now carry with me, much of it can be directly attributable to the struggles I have endured throughout my life. Because of this, I questioned whether my negative experiences should be counted in my positive category as well. While I did follow through in this manner with some memories, for the sake of decipherability, I decided against it for the majority.
In order to get a more complete picture of my early years, I contacted my mother to help me learn about her life while she was pregnant with me. She also helped me fill in the memory gaps from the early parts of my life, including my birth and infancy. Hearing her perspective on what took place during my toddler life, early childhood, and middle childhood, helped me to clarify some of the fuzzy early memories I had. Some standout memories that emerged as a result of our conversation centered around music and religion during early childhood. I was able to viscerally remember what it was like to listen to Mozart while driving over the Verrazano Bridge into Staten Island to visit my grandmother. Specifically, I recall feeling safe, happy and excited to be on an adventure with my family. I also recalled a sense of awe and curiosity while watching my father practice Islamic prayer. The process of recounting these memories with my mother was delightful for both of us. Over the phone, I could hear the excitement and nostalgia in her voice. At one point, towards the end of the call, she remarked about how much she was enjoying herself. This project helped us become closer..
Recommendation
Based on my personal experience, a life timeline experiential can be an uplifting exercise with multiple benefits, including but not limited to, reframing negative experiences in a positive light, reconnecting or strengthening existing relationships, and organizing memories to promote a stronger sense of self. While participating, I was struck by feelings of pride and accomplishment that were elicited. Furthermore, I felt a strong sense of agency and control in my life and an optimism for the future. It comes as no surprise that in a clinical setting, these benefits (among many others) can translate into effective therapeutic outcomes. Life timelines can assist grieving individuals who experience discontinuity and are struggling to overcome a loss. It can also assist those in a period of life transition by helping frame the transition through the lens of the past. Finally, for older adults struggling with depression, life timelines can be beneficial in reducing depression and promoting wellbeing. These examples illustrate the plethora of use cases for a life timeline. I would strongly recommend creating a life timeline for anyone who is looking to develop a sense of self.
